Fightin' words

As a service to Kindle Taproom readers, a friend of mine, not generally known for his sensitivity, relates below how his last three major fights with his wife got started. Perhaps you can avoid the same pitfalls. I'll just give him the floor...

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift, and she asked me why.

I answered, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

Big fight ensued.

* * *

One evening, my wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? while we were lying in bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered, only half paying attention to me.

"Is that your final answer?" I said.

Rolling her eyes, she replied, "Yes".

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

Big fight ensued.

* * *

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the sirloin steak, please, rare."

"Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" the waiter said.

"Nah, she can order for herself."

Big fight ensued.

Worrisome

In a couple of the Kindle-related discussion boards at Amazon, I've been reading about a troubling problem with the Kindle 3: the letters and numbers on the device's buttons sometimes fade to nothingness. Apparently it's only a problem with the new graphite-colored Kindles. Which means that either the lighter-colored paint used on the darker Kindle's surface is faulty, or the darker plastic of the graphite Kindle doesn't hold the paint as well. Or possibly both of these are true.

One or two posts on the boards say that the problem has since been solved, but maybe I'll wait a while before ordering my own Kindle 3 from Amazon. By January 1st or so, any faulty Kindles should be out of the pipeline (being either sold or withdrawn from the market). With all the games of Shuffled Row and Every Word I now play, I really use the buttons on my current Kindle a lot more than I used to, and this will likely continue with a new Kindle. I don't want all that activity to rub off the imprints on the buttons!

Have any of you Kindle 3 owners experienced this problem?

Monday musings

More observations from Aaron Karo's Ruminations.com:

The President, who has arguably the most important job in the world, has nothing on his desk but a phone and a pen. I have arguably the dumbest job in the world and it looks like Office Depot threw up in my cubicle.

Movie characters are always so badass. If they wake up mysteriously in a hospital alone and beaten up, they just rip the IV right out of their arms and slip past the nurses. I would at least want to see my chart first, and maybe get some juice.

"Smooth as a baby's butt" implies too much baby butt rubbing for me to feel comfortable using that expression. I prefer "smooth as a soapy boob".

Apparently, I would rather break my teeth or put a hole in my new shirt than locate a pair of scissors to cut the tag off.

Whenever I choose to go down the stairs next to a crowded escalator, I feel the need to move faster than the escalator to prove to the people on board that I made the better decision.

Good site to visit

Author and comedian Aaron Karo's web site, Ruminations.com, features short, funny anecdotes and observations by Mr. Karo and his readers. As the site describes itself, "We're sort of a cross between Twitter and Seinfeld". Here are a few recent posts at the site that gave me a chuckle:

You know you've screwed up at work when a specific mistake gets named after you: "Okay guys, we'll have a good day as long as no one pulls another Alan."

When a friend sends me an amusing yet inappropriate reply to a mass e-mail, I like to give him a scare by responding, "Next time try not to reply-all."

I'd rather read pages of useless, random internet humor than a few paragraphs of something that would actually better myself.

Based on the cleanliness of dorm rooms in movies and TV shows, I have come to the conclusion that nobody in Hollywood has ever been to college.

Google's Driverless Car will revolutionize our highways by giving people the freedom to express themselves using both middle fingers.

Check out the site. It's a lot of fun.

Good tape

A post about tape is probably a strange thing to include in a blog, even a general interest blog like this one. However, as part of its Vine Program, Amazon recently sent me a supply of Scotch Tape, in return for an honest review. Since the review is already written, and freshly posted at Amazon, I might as well share it with you folks, too. Hey, I guess if I can do a post about cat treats, tape is fair game, right? Anyway, here it is:

This is the classic Scotch Magic Tape that we've all used for years, at least when we didn't succumb to cheapness and buy those other brands at the dollar store. Of course, using the cheap brands always reminds us of the quality and simple elegance of Scotch Magic Tape, and sends us back in the right direction when it's time to buy tape again.

There are lots of reasons this is a preferred tape. Myself, I always liked that it sports a decent width, resulting in a more secure taping job, and the fact that it practically disappears on contact. Also, it really isn't that much pricier than all the sub-par tape out there.

Oh, when I told my wife about my having to write this review, she said to me, "Yeah, the tape is terrific, but be sure to also mention that the cutter thingy on the dispenser always works great with Scotch Tape, and never as good with the other brands."

"You mean the serrated edge that slices the length of tape you want to use?" I replied.

"Yes, smarty, the serrated edge," she said. "It always cuts the tape neatly and easily. The dispensers on the other brands, even the brands that cost real money, just don't cut the tape as well."

Live and learn. It's funny what makes an impression on people.

Those media jackals

Billy Wilder's 1951 film Ace in the Hole is a cynical, noir-ish tale about cunning newspaper reporter Chuck Tatum (Kirk Douglas), who stumbles upon a rescue operation to free a man trapped in a cave, then manipulates events to make the rescue take much longer than it should. This allows him to file many more stories about the rescue effort, increasingly lurid and sensational, enhancing- as planned- his own reputation as a reporter who sells papers.

While a fairly riveting movie, laced with style and dark humor, in the end the story might be a little dark for its own good. While the film functions as one of the earliest warnings that the growing mass media of the mid 20th Century might not be entirely altruistic, by having such a bleak conclusion to both the central plotline and the path of reporter Chuck Tatum (don't worry, I won't get more specific than that), the result may have been somewhat counter-productive. The film, being perceived as too depressing, failed at the box office, limiting the effect of its message.

Also limiting viewership at the time was the possible sense that the film's criticism of the media, while worth considering, might have gone a little too far. After all, while no one would doubt that newspapers and the other major media in 1951 wouldn't hesitiate to sell more ads if a disaster they were covering increased their audiences, would they really put people's lives at risk to keep the disaster from being addressed?

Of course, Ace in the Hole is also the story of one reporter and his personal decisions, so even if the central message is somewhat overcooked, the movie still works fine as the story of Kirk Douglas' Chuck Tatum character, and the events he sets in motion. You can always enjoy the movie just on that level, and take as much of the media-criticism theme to heart as you deem appropriate.

Not surprisingly, Ace in the Hole looks and sounds wonderful on the Criterion DVD I watched, and, also not surprisingly, there are a variety of wonderful extra features on the second disc, as well as a decent commentary track by film historian Neil Sinyard on the disc containing the movie. My favorite among the second-disc special features was an almost hour-long program, produced in 1980, featuring extensive conversations between Billy Wilder and film critic Michel Ciment. Mr. Wilder tells some great stories to Mr. Ciment, providing wonderful insights into the creative process and motivations behind his many films.

If you don't feel like buying or renting the DVD, Ace in the Hole also shows up from time to time on Turner Classic Movies (TCM), which is carried by most cable services.

Driving with Paul

I'm really enjoying my new subscription to Sirius/XM satellite radio, which I listen to in my Hyundai Genesis. With 150-plus channels of crystal clear, commercial-free programming covering every possible mood and taste, what's not to like?

But in addition to all that regular happiness, Sirius/XM often surprises listeners with temporary "boutique" channels that set up shop for a specific period. For example, there are now a handful of channels presenting nothing but Christmas music from now to the end of the year. Each holiday channel has a slightly different flavor, some emphasizing old Christmas favorites, some contemporary holiday recordings, etc.

Another boutique channel that I'm particularly enjoying at the moment is Paul McCartney's "Band on the Run" Radio, now running on Channel 27 to about the end of December. Established to simultaneously promote the re-issue of McCartney's classic Band on the Run album from 1973 and a special concert staged especially for Sirius/XM listeners on December 13, the channel is playing nothing but McCartney and Beatles music 24/7, along with interviews and "fun facts" related to Sir Paul and his vast catalog. The channel will also broadcast the December 13 concert, which will be staged at Harlem's Apollo Theater for a crowd of Sirius/XM listeners lucky enough to secure tickets- via Sirius/XM on-air and online contests- to be there.

Anyway, the Paul McCartney channel is really fun stuff, as are many of the other regular and temporary Sirius/XM channels. I'll probably do a post in the near future describing some of my favorite channels, in case you've been mulling over the possibility of signing up for the service yourself and wouldn't mind a little information from a current subscriber.

Sometimes it's the small things in life that make you want to get up in the morning. Lately my Sirius/XM subscription has been one such small, valuable thing making life fun.