Okay movie

Myself, if I was the producer of a Green Hornet movie, I probably would have gone for a different flavor than the current Seth Rogan vehicle. Likely, I would have aimed for an understated, cool 60's vibe (maybe even setting the movie in the 60's), with a cool jazzy score (lots of deep bass notes), snappy dialogue, and spare action (so it would really stand out when it eventually showed up). But that's me.

I do admit that the flavor/theme that the producers did go for in the current film- namely, what if an irresponsible, immature buffoon and his only slightly more mature friend are suddenly driven to become superheroes- is also sort of interesting, and that the movie explores that angle entertainingly enough. But for me, the incessant goofiness got a little old.

On top of that, when the Green Hornet and Kato finally grow up a little and show some adult smarts and maturity, we're suddenly shunted into a huge, overwrought action sequence that takes up the whole last part of the film, preventing the movie from focusing on their new, less grating personas. Regarding that last action sequence, again, I would have preferred spare, clever action (this isn't the Justice League, after all) rather than seeing the Hornet-mobile riding a service elevator up to the 40th floor of an office building and then tooling around a newspaper's editorial office amid automatic weapons fire from an army of goons.

But again, that's just me, and I'm definitely not saying that the movie is shoddy or dull or poorly crafted. It just chose an approach- broad humor, broad action- that some people will like more than others. My wife, in fact, thought it was a refreshing change from the usual melodrama of other superhero movies. Maybe you will, too.

And, you know what? Seeing that there are plenty of superhero movies that are done as straight-up (or mostly straight-up) dramas, like the current X-Men and Batman movies, I don't mind all that much that an occasional light, funny riff on this type of material, as seen in The Green Hornet, comes down the pike now and again. But let's keep it the exception to the rule, okay? After all, do we really want to return to the old days of "Holy spaghetti and meatballs, Batman-- the Pasta King is loose in Gotham!"

Meet Joan Rivers

You don't have to be a huge fan of Joan Rivers to enjoy the 2010 documentary, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work, but it helps if you at least think she's sometimes extremely funny (I do). It also helps if you have a fascination with the lives and behind-the-scenes preparation of famous performers (again, I do). In any event, I enjoyed this succinct, entertaining film, recently out on DVD, and if you're any kind of documentary or biography fan, you might, too.

The three things in the movie that resonated the most with me were: 1) Learning that Ms. Rivers, like many famous performers, still drags along the insecurity of her earliest, hand-to-mouth period, often to the point of still worrying where her next meal is coming from, 2) Seeing that fame is hard work, with Joan constantly trying to come up with new gags, jokes, and observations to fill up her act, and 3) the well-chosen clips of her stage performances, which deliver the right balance of funny and revealing.

Between the above, all the old black-and-white TV clips of Joan breaking the comedic glass ceiling, and the fascinating juxtaposition of a woman who freely admits she needs to be surrounded by luxury yet spends considerable time delivering bags of food to the needy, you'll likely be as absorbed in the proceedings as I was. As the film's title testifies, Joan Rivers is indeed a piece of work, and one well worth visiting via this compelling little profile.

Tale of a gallant sailor

A young woman in New York City is so depressed that she decides to end her life by throwing herself into the fast-moving currents of the waterfront.

But just as she's about to jump from the docks, a handsome young man quickly grasps her arm and stops her.

"You don't want to do this," says the concerned man. "You have so much to live for, even if you can't see it now."

The woman looks unconvinced, so the man tries another angle. "Look, I'm a sailor," he says, "and we're off to Europe tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship, where I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

The woman mulls it over. With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she has always wanted to go to Europe, she finally accepts.

That night, the sailor brings her aboard and hides her in a small but
comfortable compartment in the vessel's hold. Every night from then on, he brings her three sandwiches and makes love to her until dawn.

Three weeks later, though, the woman is discovered by the captain of the vessel during a routine inspection. "What are you doing here?" the captain asks the surprised woman.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," the woman replies sheepishly. "He brings me food and I'm getting a free trip to Europe."

"I see," the captain says.

Her conscience then gets the best of her and the woman adds, "Plus, he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," replies the captain, "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

Clever

Message spotted on the back of a cement mixer I was driving behind earlier today:

Get a load of this!

Cars and computers

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, the following news item may be of interest...

At a recent computer and technology expo, Microsoft head Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the U.S. auto industry, smugly stating, "If General Motors had kept up with technology the way the computer industry has, we would all be driving cars that cost $25.00 and got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Mr. Gates' comments, General Motors promptly issued the following statement to the press:

General Motors found Mr. Gates recent comments on our company very interesting. However, we want to add our own observations on the topic. In our view, if GM had developed technology in the manner that Microsoft has in recent years, we believe that Americans would now be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash... twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a course change such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to re-start, in which case you would have to re-install the engine.

5. Apple would soon produce a competing car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive... but would run on only five percent of the nation's roads.

6. Current dashboard indicators like oil, temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This car has performed an illegal operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. Again, we would accept this without question.

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as your old car.

10. You'd have to press a "start" button to turn the engine off.

Finally, as noted in GM's press statement, when all else fails, you could always call customer service, which would connect you to a foreign country, where you'd be instructed in a foreign language on how to fix the problem in question.

"Yes, it will indeed be a great day when the automobile industry takes a page from the computer industry's book," GM's statement concluded.

Hurray for Hollywood

I ended up seeing 27 movies in theaters in 2010, down slightly from the 30-plus movies I've managed in each of the past few years. Still, 27 isn't bad; it shows that I still make somewhat of an effort to get out and have fun. Most of the movies I saw with my wife, a couple with a friend, and a couple I went to myself.

In the event you're curious, here are the movies I went to see in 2010, accompanied by the dates I saw them, and ratings on how much I liked them. One asterisk/star means I hated the movie in question; two means it was okay but nothing special; three means the movie was pretty good and worth the trip; and four stars/asterisks means I recommend the film without reservation.

Actually, I don't think I saw any one or two star movies this past year. That could mean that either 1) the movies are getting better, 2) I'm getting better at picking the handful of good movies always out there at any given time, or 3) I'm easier to please these days. Maybe it's a combination of all three.

Anyway, here's the list:

1. The Lovely Bones (January 23) ***

2. The Wolfman (February 12) *** ½

3. Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (February 15) *** ½

4. Shutter Island (February 20) ****

5. An Education (March 6) *** ½

6. The Ghost Writer (April 10) ****

7. Kick-Ass (April 17) *** ½

8. Iron Man 2 (May 8) *** ½

9. Sex and the City 2 (May 31) ***

10. The A-Team (June 12) ***

11. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (June 19) ****

12. Eclipse (July 2) ***

13. The Girl Who Played With Fire (July 9) *** ½

14. Inception (July 16) ****

15. Salt (August 7) *** ½

16. Toy Story 3 (August 20) ****

17. Eat Pray Love (August 21) ***

18. Piranha 3D (August 22) ***

19. Coco Chanel and Igor Stravinsky (August 27) ***

20. The American (September 3) *** ½

21. The Social Network (October 15) ****

22. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest (November 7) *** ½

23. You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (November 11) *** ½

24. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part One (November 21) ****

25. Burlesque (December 10) ***

26. Tron: Legacy (December 18) *** ½

27. Black Swan (December 29) *** ½

What do you think of the list? If I can give myself credit for anything, it's having an open, wide-ranging taste in movies. As long as something looks semi-interesting, I don't care if it's a summer blockbuster, a trashy exploitation movie, or an esoteric art-house film. I'm potentially open to seeing anything.

How about you? Did you go out to the movies much last year? If so, what kinds of films motivate you to get off the couch and buy a ticket?

Back

Now that all the hoopla of the past weekend has died down, Kindle Taproom wishes all of you a belated Happy New Year!

Sorry for being a bit of a stranger recently. Being of Italian descent, there were lots of family gatherings over the Christmas and New Year's break that warranted my participation, and being a Philadelphian, there were lots of social gatherings centered around New Year's Day and our famous Mummers Parade that demanded the same attention. Both of these elements resulted in spotty posting over the past week or so.

But don't worry, we're back in action now. Talk to you in a bit!