I'll just say this...

And now, on this not-so-glorious Monday, are some glorious insults from an era (several actually) when the artfully barbed witticism was routinely preferred over the current practice of simply yelling a bunch of four-letter words.

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts: for support rather than illumination"

Andrew Lang

* * *

A member of Parliament to Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or from some unspeakable disease!"

Disraeli, in response: "That depends, Sir, on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

* * *

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

William Faulkner

* * *

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

Winston Churchill

* * *

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

Mark Twain

* * *

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

Oscar Wilde

* * *

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend, if you have one."

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."

Winston Churchill, in response

* * *

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."

Stephen Bishop

* * *

He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

Billy Wilder

* * *

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

Mae West