An Irishman who's had way too much to drink is driving home from Cork one night and his car is weaving all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. "Sir," says the cop, "where have you been?"
"I've been to the pub of course," replies the drunk.
"Sir," says the cop, "it appears like you've had a lot to drink tonight."
"I did all right," the drunk mumbles with a smile.
"Did you know," says the increasingly impatient cop, "that a mile back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank goodness," slurs the drunk. "For a minute, I thought I'd gone deaf."